Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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