Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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