Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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