afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
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They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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