It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
