So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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