i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
