I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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