I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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