first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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