I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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