whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize