i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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