awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
