Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
