I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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