If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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