when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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