Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
