tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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