So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I understand Curling. That high.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
