I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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