i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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