8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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