My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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