party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
