Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
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