I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
