You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
