I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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