Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
