So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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