Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
