Having a random hookup so left but love u
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
