and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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