Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
