i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
