I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize