your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
