Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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