what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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