CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
two words: eviction party
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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