I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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