no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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