he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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