the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
