Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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