We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
love makes seman taste better
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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