tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize