Pants 0. Shit 1.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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