Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
