I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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