you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
