The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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