Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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